The following was written by RadhaGovinda dasi.
Her family hosted our visit to Panama last winter.
She attended the 24 hour kirtan in New Vrndavan, West Virginia last week and took the time to write of her experience. I think you'll enjoy it,especially if you go to this link
http://www.gauravani.com/
and play number 07 Madhava while reading.
Mitra
"Using
our 14th Wedding Anniversary as an excuse, we traveled to New Vrindavan
for the Annual 24 hour kirtan. Before even setting out we were tested
as Prahlad vomited throughout the night and 4:30 in the morning we had
to take him to the hospital. I'm always nervous about anything that
involves being on time, a trait inherited from my Dad. We had to reach
at the airport for 7 so I was in complete anxiety for both things.
We did make it but I left with a very heavy heart. Sometimes I feel
selfish that I leave them for attending kirtans but I convince my
myself that they are taken care of so nicely by my mother in law and
Yolie. Prahlad was so cute that morning showing total dependence on us.
My heart was melting and I got a realization. "Just like when a child
becomes totally dependent on the parents
their hearts melt, so if we become totally dependent on Lord Krishna
his heart will melt for us!"
My heart was divided, wanting to be in the kirtan and longing to be with Prahlad.
I'm
now in the airplane flying towards Pittsburg. From the window below me
are majestic mountains and untouched lands surrounding. Every minute
passed I feel closer to attending the kirtan and somehow I'm thinking
about just seeing everyone's smiling faces and feeling inspired. I feel
as if I'm a part of a big happening. In my rush in the
morning after returning from the hospital I forgot to take blessings
from Lord Jagannatha. I mentally bow to him and beg him to let me get
totally absorbed and take full advantage of the kirtan.
11.00- Arriving at the temple we felt the mood saturated with happiness
and we immediately snapped into it. I was not eager for meeting people
as I felt that I didn't come for socializing but to try to get the full
benefit of the kirtan. I reasoned that we spent so much money, left the
kids, left the shop and came so better to take full advantage of what we
went for. So when I saw some devotees taking a Mauna Vrata (vow of
silence) I understood that I was not the only one thinking about full
advantage. I didn't take a Mauna Vrata though as I didn't feel ready.
Opening the kirtan is Madhava Prabhu. Just hearing the first chords
of the harmonium I knew this was going to be special. The temple room
is packed and I feel like an
outsider, like a sinner not deserving enough to be among everyone. He
is singing. Each devotee's expression is unique as I look at them I feel
inspired to get into the mood like them and try to experience a drop of
what they're feeling. A mother and daughter is hugging and singing. I
see kids maybe as young as 4 chanting, I see old ladies pouring out
their hearts chanting, I see from the highest rank devotee to the lowest
(me) chanting. I close my eyes and try to feel Krishna's presence. I
feel like a pretender but slowly I feel myself getting purified. The
mrdanga beat and my heart beat becomes one. The kirtan starts off with a
sense of yearning or longing then it builds up and the feeling of
achieving comes, as if Krishna is going to appear any moment, and ends
with a sense of yearning and longing again. My whole body and senses has
become very alert and I'm aware of everything around me ... The touch
of the kartals, each mrdanga beat, each chord
strummed in the guitar, each note played on the harmonium and I'm
totally absorbed in trying to think of Krishna. Then the unexpected
happens to me, I start crying. I start missing Krishna, feeling as if I
know him and want to be with him. I understand this has to be the
devotees mercy around me because for myself I'm a hard hearted being and
this is only because of the devotion surrounding me. I feel grateful
for this experience and vowed to keep it etched in my mind for a long
time.
12:00 Kirtan by Bada Haridas Prabhu,
His
voice has a kind of melancholy sweetness, its simple but makes you feel
as if you're floating in the sky. I look at his face when he sings and
every one of his wrinkles join together and create a blissful face. He's
also climbing the ladder gradually of longing, achieving and again
longing. I entered the temple room more conscious about people around
and feeling myself
full of ego. However by his chanting I feel myself getting cleaner. I'm
now focused of what's going on inside of me and I'm trying to savor
every moment holding on to it. I don't want to be surrounded by goodness
and get influenced by my spaced out mind. I'm surrounded by the best
musicians, the best singers, the gorgeous deities, the beautiful ladies
and the kids and my mind is battling to let it all enter at once. Prabhu
has reached its peak in the kirtan and the heights is a kind of
un-explainable phenomena. Everyone is calling out to Krishna in loud
voices and I'm thinking today has to expand himself to hear each one of
his devotee's cries.
http://www.gauravani.com/
4:00 Kishori Yatra -
Young kids have that attractive
innocence and their combined singing sounds beautiful. I can see some
are nervous to get in front of the microphone but they are being
encouraged. I can see that this is Iskcon's future for sure. The
mother's are all very proud seeing their kids singing and especially one
Mom is almost flipping out in bliss seeing her daughter sing.
4:30 -
I
did get a bit pushy so I asked if I could do some back up singing. I
don't know what it is but being closer to the kirtan just feels right. As
a kirtan leader I don't feel part of the whole thing if I'm not
directly doing something. Alright so some devotees are doing japa ! I'm
wondering if they're not sure if we're all
singing Krishna's names. It shouldn't be bugging me
but it is :-). I'm surrounded by loud kirtan but sleep is overcoming
me. I'm looking at a mother putting her baby to sleep on her lap and I'm
wishing that was me. I shake my body and try to focus.
6:30 Gaura Mani.
She
is one of my favorites. Her kirtan is like the rain falling and soaking
us in bliss. When she sings, only beautiful thoughts can come to mind.
She starts like the gradual opening of a lotus. Each petal is delicately
opened and getting ready to offer to the Lord. Finally the summit when
the lotus is ready to offer she blows our mind with Hare Krsna Kolaveri
style. Super cool! I throw away my umbrella of false ego and feel the
sky open and I get totally soaked by mercy.
7:30-
Kirtan classical style. The back up singer voice is out of this world! Each note she sings is nothing less than perfect.
8:00 : Radhanatha
Maharaj.
The temple room is jam packed and Maharaj floats his
way through the crowd. He's singing a very mellow tune and the response
is roaring. There's a group of devotees in black (Men in Black)
obviously all Maharaj's disciples are all joined in hand in hand and
dancing. Somehow the Indian crowd is going mad by Maharaj's singing. The
ladies are dancing gracefully and with lots of devotion. After some
time Maharaj encourages everyone to get up to dance so we're all
shoulder to shoulder sweating and dancing. The atmosphere is full of
energy and then he sings "Hare Hare" "Radhe Radhe" to which the crowd
goes loco. Everyone abandons all reservations and starts shouting. Then I
get carried away by the waves and I'm shouting, screaming, jumping. I'm
feeling full of life and I'm giving myself fully to experience every
moment. Maharaj has raised the kirtan to another level. There are 500
hundred people shouting and I'm trying to hear myself
shouting so I'm really shouting Radhe Radhe and then obviously my voice
gets sore.
9:00 - Agnideva Das
I always marvel at his effortless singing. His voice sounds same on c.d and same in live.
10:00- Gaura Vani
His each and every note is faultless and after the jamming kirtan of Radhanatha M Gaura vani is doing it sweet and tranquil.
11:00- Vish and Vrinda
Vish
is my favorite all time singer. I feel that he has perfected like we
hear the description of the spiritual world of every word being a song.
He's already there. His mood is always correct and one cannot help but
appreciate the beautiful couple they make. Every time I see them I feel
like blessing them to remain together forever!
12:00 - Slept till
3.
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